Q: Dear Donnarose, I’m 21 and have returned to college. I have a boyfriend who's also in school, but I guess he isn't your typical clean cut guy. My mother doesn't approve of him just because of his appearance. And on top of this, she is non-stop with pressuring me to make it through college this time around. She has no idea how much she is making things worse. Thanks for any advice. ~M.G.
A: “Live by example, not explanation.“ ~Donnarose Melvin
First, congrats on returning to school. Regarding your mom, intuitively, it looks like she's pretty much copying what she experienced from her mother. This is all she knows how to be at this time. And I sense your boyfriend is on the right track with his studies and attitude as well. As far as advice, as my quote above indicates, it's suggested to consider living by example rather than explanation. And the successful outcomes of your actions will be the proof that who you are now, is someone who has grown and has a more mature and positive mindset. Living by example is what tends to be most impactful on getting more relief from parental pressure, and believe it or not, increased acceptance of your choices as well. The reason is, most people tend to be more convinced by action that matches the spoken words, rather than hearing the words by themselves.
So instead of explaining your side of the story, practice consistently living it. Show what you mean by your actions. This will not only prove to potentially turn your mom around, but most importantly, you will feel good about yourself. And if you're consistent with living by example and forgo the need to explain yourself, and really take care of yourself, you'll notice a rise in your self-worth, self-acceptance, self-confidence, and self-love. And you'll find your reaction to anyone's opposing opinions will come from a place of peace rather than frustration. ~♥
Q: Dear Donnarose, my parents and I are doctors, and have a family medical practice for many years now. Needless to say, the pressure has been enormous on me, especially working with my parents. At times, I get to the point where I feel like I just want to explode and walk out for good. Please provide any insight, as I surely could use some relief. ~Thank you, M.N.
A: “Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer
Using a little analogy, when any of us stare at our T.V. or our computer for too long, our eyes and mind tend to get so burned out that we don't want to look at it anymore. This is similar to what's happening at your office.
Your mind and eyes have been focused in the direction of your parents for so long with too many unsuccessful attempts to please them. As time continues to pass, your dissatisfaction with your parents' responses to your attempts, build up. And the thought to blow up and walk out resurfaces again and again. The good news is you have managed to take alternative measures. But when a pattern continues to emerge, and the thought to walk out continues to resurface, that says it's time for alternative measures to your alternative measures. Meaning, the alternative measures you've taken need to be tweaked just a bit, so you can be relieved of that pressure build up, and even be rid of future thoughts to walk out.
So first, consider allowing yourself to be free of silently insisting that your parents satisfy you by responding exactly the way you desire. This corresponds to one of my favorite Dr. Wayne Dyer quotes I wrote above. When we strongly consider that quote, plus stay in the Light with our intentions, stay true to who we are, and stay connected to our essence- that which is love, it is then we are free. Free, meaning you no longer carry the burden of having to please others or prove yourself to anyone.
So it's suggested to keep your intentions in the light and carry them out with continuous Divine support, but, with a firm detachment to the outcome of anyone's reaction. Not only will you notice a gradual, more favorable response from your parents, but more importantly, you will notice a positive shift in how you feel about yourself. This in turn, will raise your vibration to a higher level. And that's where increased self-acceptance, self-confidence, etc., all reside. And even more good news, situations and responses matching your higher vibration will continue to follow.~♥
Donnarose Melvin is a professional intuitive medium, and also does powerful distant energy clearings. Her knowledge from her BA degree in Psychology, along with her natural intuitive gifts, have helped thousands achieve increased peace and success. Please send your questions to: Donnarose1010@gmail.com or Facebook private msg her at Donnarose. She will select questions each month to share with you. Donnarose regrets that unpublished questions cannot be answered individually. If you’d like an energy clearing, or an intuitive reading, please contact Donnarose at the email address above. Gift certificates are available.