Soulful Advice from Donnarose

| February 1, 2014
Donnarose  ~~Donnarose Melvin is a professional psychic, medium and energy healer, whose pleasure it is to assist clients worldwide. She incorporates knowledge from her degree in psychology, along with her clairvoyant, clairaudient, clairsentient and empathic gifts to guide her clients towards peace and success.  Please send your questions to GoWithYourSoul@gmail.com or private message her via facebook: Go With Your Soul. Donnarose will select questions each month to share with you. She regrets that unpublished questions cannot be answered individually. ~ ♥

Q:  Dear Donnarose, my mother is a very angry person.  So now at 52, I made a New Year’s resolution to help our relationship.  I wrote my mother a very kind letter telling her that I felt our relationship was not healthy, and I would love to create a new one.  I told her that I would love to be in touch more, however, I cannot handle the constant criticism, etc.  Weeks later, she made comments on the letter, sent it to our family, and told them she no longer wants me in her life.  Apparently, she couldn’t follow the rules and boundaries I set.  I had to set them, as they were ruining my mental health. Do you agree with what I said and did?  Regards, Lisa M.

 A: ~“As you love yourself more you will only accept, that the boundaries you set will be met with respect.”– Donnarose Melvin
Your situation is common amongst many of my clients.  The thing is, your mother’s issues started before you were born.  So even though letters can be a good idea, it will take more than that to see a change in her.  We truly can’t force change on anyone, except ourselves.  The biggest issue here is that in tough situations like this, self-love tends to take a nose dive.  And so if we're unable to receive love from ourselves, how could we expect to be able to receive love from someone else?  In order to see any improvement in your relationship with your mother, it has to start with you healing you first, and loving yourself fully.  Practice thinking love-based thoughts about yourself on a daily basis.  The clarity that comes with this is amazing.  And if you continue pouring love into yourself like this, don’t be surprised if the overflow of love energy starts to reach your mom energetically.  This is when improved communication starts to unfold, and boundaries are respected, all because you increased your love for yourself.  This actually works, as I’ve seen it many times.~♥

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Q:  Dear Donnarose, my 2 kids can be very difficult at times.  I know I’m partially to blame for this, as I never disciplined them the way I should.  How can I turn things around? Regards, Kim 

A: ~ “Use P.R.A.I.S.E., for when you do, you are a “Person Raising Another Individual’s Self-Esteem.” – Donnarose Melvin
Well, what you wrote to me are just bad habits that can be broken.  I’ve worked with kids with mostly every type of bad behavior, including extremely violent, and bullying.  And trust me when I say, we saw a huge turnaround for many of them.  Since space is limited, I will give some key tips.  First and foremost, get things in balance with yourself.  Regarding the children, sit them down and explain the new structure, and how they can succeed.  Then use positive reinforcement using verbal and physical (hugs, etc.) praise by rewarding the positive changed behavior right after it’s displayed.  When you do this, you are helping to raise their self-esteem, and reinforcing the behavior you want repeated.  Initially praise any improvement, no matter how small, then move on to bigger improvements.  Now the biggest mistake that can be made, is paying more attention to the child who is still not behaving yet, and ignoring the one who is.  Once the “good” child sees the “bad” child getting more attention, that child will return to old behavior.  The key is to praise any single improvement with the “bad” child, even if it’s a smile.  The child will like the way that felt, and slowly you’ll see changes if you keep doing this.  And finally, another very important tactic to use, is to reprimand a child behind closed doors, and praise in front of all.   This alone produces magic even with the worse behavior.  If you balance taking care of you and apply some of these tips, I can assure you this will keep you all on the right track, and bring peace into your home.~ ♥

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Q:  Dear Donnarose, how do I get my friends to stop wishing they could always be happy like me?  I’m no different than they are, except in the way I think.  Thanks! ~Amber

A: ~ "The type of happiness we choose to seek, will determine if it lasts forever or a week.“ –Donnarose Melvin
You’re right, you do think differently than your friends.  Like my quote says, depending on what type of happiness (Inner or Outer) is sought, will determine how long it lasts.  It looks like temporary outer happiness your friends chose to lean towards.  Inner happiness is determined by our level of self-love, and can remain infinitely as long as we continue to love ourselves fully, and stay in a state of gratitude.  Inner happiness is not dependent on events and material things external to us.  Outer happiness tends to be temporary as it’s attached to weight loss, or a relationship, or a job, or a weekend function, etc.  So guess what happens if that job is lost, or a break up occurs, or the weekend is over?  The excitement is over and feeling unhappy returns.  This is why your friends keep fluctuating with their level of happiness.  You, on the other hand, chose Inner happiness..big difference.  Therefore, it’s suggested to accept that you won’t be able to get your friends to change their thoughts.  However, just keep being you, and true..and continue to love yourself exactly the way you do.  And that will be a great enough gift in itself to give your friends, as people can only benefit from being around your energy. ~♥

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